During April, the first full month of spring, I turned one year older. I saw four movies, three of them for the first time. This month felt rather heavy; it marks the end of a cycle.

Personal

Like a flower blossoming in spring, I'm proud to announce that my frontal lobe is now fully developed. Even if this has been debunked as a myth, there's an undeniable weight in saying "I turned 25" or "I am now 25 years old." I have been on this earth for a quarter of a century. Even writing it down or saying it out loud requires a certain solemnity on my part. When I turned 10, 15, 18, and then 21—all significant ages for seemingly different reasons—I expected all the secrets of the universe to be revealed in front of me in a little parade. Things would finally make sense, I thought. As you might already know, this never happened.

I expected 25 to be more of the same; I'd turn one year older like how the hands on a clock change position while the clock itself remains unchanged. The day before my birthday, Pope Francis passed away, and the day after, while sharing a moment with my mom and sister, I realized this might have been the last year we all get together for my birthday. Things have felt a bit heavy since then. If I had to put it into words, I'd say it feels as if I am mourning my childhood. If I had to compare it to a feeling, I would say it feels like falling. Even though I know the imaginary bottom is safe, the sensation is still there. If it were a sound, it would be this piece from the opening scene in The Brutalist.

Lastly, I want to mention that towards the end of March, I accidentally started a 30-day mindfulness challenge (I misread and thought it was a 30-minute challenge) and I completed this challenge in the middle of April. I only missed one day, so I think I can say I completed it successfully.

Books

No books were completed during this month. One development is that the physical books I was reading now exist in the digital world, on my e-reader. I'm hoping this change can help me read more since it's easier to carry a phone-sized device rather than a paperback, at least in most cases.

Music

For April, I want to share this live version of "Watermelon In Easter Hay" performed by Frank Zappa in 1988.

Movies

Two movies I saw in April that I would like to highlight are Sinners (2025) and Conclave (2024). It bugs me that both are recent releases because I feel like I can't really talk about them without spoiling them, but the production design and cinematography in Conclave are top-notch. For Sinners, I really enjoyed the story and characters.

Closing thoughts

Maybe it was turning 25, maybe it was the events surrounding my birthday, or maybe it's that I'm in a transition period, but April did feel heavier than previous months this year. This is a good time to remind myself to take things lightly even when they feel heavy. Here's hoping for lighter months ahead.