Summary

June was my first full month living "alone." I've been trying to cultivate good habits and take care of myself while also preparing for job interviews.

Personal

I put "alone" in quotes because ever since I read the following Tumblr post, it's difficult for me to even think that I am alone, let alone say it:

"we were born alone & we die alone" you delivered yourself during birth? built all the roofs that have ever given you shelter? sown the wheat in your bread?? weaved the clothes on your back??? wrote all the books youve ever read and the music youve ever listened to????? who made the literal bed youre going to die in - you, all alone?
— @sangefiruze

I do live alone in the sense that I'm the only person in the place I'm calling home for now, but I don't feel alone. I'm very grateful for the friends and family who choose to stay connected with me, here and in other parts of the world.

Living by myself does come with a whole set of challenges and advantages. For example, I really enjoy being in control of my own time now; the problem is that I'm the one in control of my own time now. If I wanted to, I could spend the entire day in bed looking at my phone. Would that be good for me or my goals? Of course not, but the option is there, and I think it's in stages like these where one builds character.

I'm responsible for feeding myself, making sure I have drinking water, maintaining good hygiene, going to bed on time, studying, getting groceries, doing the things that need to get done; and if they don't, I have no one to blame but myself. Two-thirds into the month I realized that without systems, trying to rely on willpower alone, it would be incredibly difficult to accomplish all the things I wanted.

Since the fourth Sunday of the month, I've been waking up a few minutes before the sun comes out (between 5 and 6 AM). I hydrate, do some light stretching, sweep the floor, and then start studying until noon. I'm mainly focusing on data structures and algorithms as I prepare for technical interviews for my first job post-graduation, and I've maintained at least one LeetCode submission every day since June 18th. I've found this routine very helpful for sticking to my goals. My mind is fresh in the morning and jumping straight to studying feels good, especially since I feel like you need a lot of clarity to understand some abstract concepts like dynamic programming or graph algorithms. I like the fact that I have pretty much the entire day for myself after noon, although I mostly use it to take care of more "administrative" tasks like cleaning up or getting groceries. I also use this time to text friends, explore the city when it's not raining, read, watch movies, etc. The only issue is that I get very sleepy between 2 and 5 PM, but I believe the entire world deals with this. There's a reason why the siesta exists.

Another thing: halfway through the month I got tired of doing dishes every day. I usually cook twice a day and I'm used to cleaning everything up once I finish eating. However, it started to feel so exhausting that I almost didn't want to cook for myself anymore after three weeks of doing it. A couple days later I saw a post on Instagram that pretty much changed my entire perspective instantly. It was a series of photos showing dirty dishes with quotes about reframing mundane tasks, and the one that struck me most said: "A table to clear, a mess to tidy up after a meal = you got to eat and enjoy food one more day."

That really is the whole point. Having dishes to do means I got to eat another day. I had another plate of delicious food that I made with care and love for myself. Doing the dishes is the least I could do as a thank you. It got annoying at one point, but now I try to remind myself to feel grateful when I have to clean up after myself after a meal.

Very similarly, whenever I feel nervous before a job interview or frustrated because I don't know how to solve a LeetCode problem, I try to keep in mind that the stress I'm feeling is due to the opportunities I used to hope for. I don't need to wait for the "perfect moment" or until I feel ready; I just need to be brave.

This is also the reason why this entry is going up almost a month late. I've been so busy preparing and studying that I almost don't feel like looking at the computer at night. However, I'm sure I'm almost at the end of the tunnel, so hopefully monthly notes will be back on schedule soon.

Books

No books were finished during June.

Music

For the month of June, I put together a playlist with songs I discovered during the month. I've also included obsessions of the month and some songs I heard on the street that I liked. I also want to share a live version of "Pecado" interpreted by Caetano Veloso, which was my most-listened-to song of June.

Movies

I saw seven movies, five of them for the first time. I'd like to highlight (and recommend if you haven't seen it) The Tale of The Princess Kaguya (2013), which is one of the most visually gorgeous animated movies I've seen in recent years and probably one of my favorites from Studio Ghibli so far. I don't think I've seen another movie that looks like this one.

I also saw Millennium Mambo (2001), and although it's a tad too slow even for my taste, it manages to balance its rich visuals and atmospheric soundtrack to the point of perfection. The opening scene speaks for itself, so I'll link it below.

Closing Thoughts

June was a month of self-exploration, adjustment, and preparation: getting used to taking full care of myself and my living space in a new city while preparing for the next chapter of my career. I believe I've built a solid foundation and I'm looking forward to whatever the future might bring. I'm happy with the person I'm becoming.

"A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart."

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust, First Part, 1808